Becoming a missionary takes a huge amount of work. Planning, praying, logistics, fund-raising, researching, networking. It isn't entered into lightly (at least it should't be!), nor is it ended lightly (at least it should't be!). So comes the end of our (second) missionary journey! Our first was in Papua New Guinea and our second was in the Philippines. We haven't made a third (sorry, Paul!).
 |
Believe us when we say, there has been much thought, prayer, and work in making this so. |
It has been a long and somewhat winding road that has been an unforgettable experience for us to walk down, but we feel that this seven year odyssey has reached its end. Partly as a result of my recent injury and partly as a result of us simply not being able to find accommodation in Daet, despite all our searching. And so in waving goodbye to Wycliffe, we felt it fitting to finish with a little reflection upon the things that we have learnt from these last five years of service, for "there ain't no journey that don't change you some" (Cloud Atlas). So, here goes...
 |
The new neck... |
1. Frodo says to Sam at the end of the Return of the King "You cannot always be torn in two". Living in transition when you spend significant periods of time in two different countries is not easy, particularly so for missionary kids. It is a hard life, and whilst is wonderful to have friends in and from different places, there is no special grace to ease the eternal fibres in us that long for a preservation of relationships and love. (No more LOTR allusions, I promise!)
2. Everything is spiritual. It may be tempting to believe that putting one's 'ministry' ahead of family is praiseworthy, especially if that 'service' is so needed. But family is a sacred space where love is worked out and those whom we have been entrusted with should not suffer because our (even very good) work 'has to get done'.
 |
Not a burden in the way, but a treasure on it. |
3. People are people are people. They may have different colour skin, speak a different language, live in a completely different way and hold a very different worldview but "everybody poos" (a truism that Penny particularly likes) and they all (consequentially) get hungry, need somewhere to sleep and want to be loved. If you really live with other people and walk around in their shoes, you can even start to become consciously unaware of some of those differences listed above.
 |
Is there an odd one out? |
4. There are fewer 'essentials' to the Christian faith than I previously thought or would have been comfortable in standing by. I'm less convinced of non-negotiable doctrines by which we mark out our camp and judge those who stand with one foot beyond the boundary. God has been at work in different ways throughout history with different peoples and this tailored approach continues in the world today. The Bible is a complex book written over a vast time period by very different authors for different purposes in different ways. It is interpreted in manifold ways by different clans and tribes. It can be both arrogant and damaging to try and claim one's own handle on the truth is the only valid one. What does it mean to be a Christian? To love God and love each other. That should be the litmus test. Judging isn't something we're qualified to do. Loving is, and we need all the help we can find to do it. Dr Greg Boyd puts it like this:
"This, I believe, is part of our legacy of eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Gen 3:1-7). In our fallen delusion, we feel it our right, and within our capacity, to declare unambiguously who and what is "good" and who and what is "evil". We are not omniscient, but having eaten from the forbidden tree, we have a fallen misguided impulse to judge matters as though we were. We have difficulty accepting our finitude and the massive ignorance and ambiguity that necessarily attached to it".
5. People who actively listen, take genuine interest, faithfully give, and support in imaginative ways are an incredible gift. We have literally relied on this kind of person. Not just for food in our mouths and clothes on our backs, but for warmth in our bones and refreshment in our souls. (Be that person for somebody!)
 |
The senders |
6. Culture really is HUGE. You cannot ignore your own culture when thinking about God or how you understand faith and you can't ignore someone else's culture when you consider how they might think about God or how they might understand faith. Everyones worldview is affected by their culture. It shapes one's concept of community, of forgiveness, of the fall. It even influences which paradigm of salvation is most meaningful personally. It isn't just a case of being culturally relevant, but rather of imagining how a culture might be represented when it is fully inhabited by the Holy Spirit. There is no one 'heavenly culture'. Love is the living culture of heaven that is poured into a manifold plethora of earthen vessels. I believe there will be glorious multi-cultural colour in heaven, brought by different tribes, tongues, races and species. Culture isn't a temporary ailment (at least it shouldn't be). I don't know how it will work and how the likes of Abraham will interact with the likes of Mary or how she will interact with the likes
of St Cuthbert or how he will interact with the likes of Mother Theresa or how she will interact with the likes of Bear Grylls. I just know that God was/ is at work in all of them and was manifesting something of the Divine character, and that mystery is amazing!
7. Who needs hot water? When you don't have something, most of the time, it turns out you can make do without it. It's easy to spend your life getting more attached to more things and it's tough to shake that habit despite any 'abstinence periods' you may have had. Most people in this world don't have much. Rubbing shoulders with a few of them can help remind you to keep "using things and loving people, not the other way around" (as BJ Thomas sings).
8. Love can be spoken in any language, though it may sound a little different. Paul wrote that he became "all things to all people, that by all means I might save some" (1 Corinthians 9 v 22). I remember reading a particularly moving story about how love instinctively made a husband change the position of his lips in order to kiss his misshapen wife after she had suffered an injury/ illness. Sometimes you need to contort yourself a little to fully embrace another. God is the master at this!
 |
My heroine |
9. Faith needs to evolve. It isn't a list of rules and statements of truth that is learnt when one becomes a Christian. It is the beginning of a relationship with God, God's children, and God's world. Being willing to change one's mind and traditions, feeling free to develop new gifts and perspectives, being encouraged to ask questions and acknowledge doubt, feeling open to new revelation and different interpretations, being humble to learn from others and admit limitations, and feeling safe to wrestle with uncomfortable passages of scripture and life events is essential in this journey of faith.
10. Every season can be beautiful. Powdered UHT milk can be a pleasure to enjoy. There can be a time for short shorts. Cold showers can be a gift. New turnip recipes can be exciting. Tupperware can be a prized possession. A fellow Briton, (any Briton), overseas can be sweet company. Going to ASDA can be like riding with Aladdin "wonder by wonder, over sideways and under, on a magic carpet ride". I don't mean every single part of every single day should be amazing. Just that each season is different, with its own challenges and wonders. Comparing them is unhelpful and whilst it's ok to have favourite seasons, it's good to try and
be present in the present.
 |
Washing with clothes on, in dirty water, without soap, with other people... can be fun! |
11. People who open other people's mail really are joy-stealers. Getting parcels with a packet of empty M&Ms or a half-eaten chocolate bar is devastating (regardless of whether it has been nibbled on by human or rodent teeth). It is not so devastating that you throw the remainder away however...
12. Administration in the Church or in para-church organisations shouldn't be a dirty word. It isn't a job done by folks who value rules overmuch (hopefully). It isn't something that gets in the way of the important stuff. It is the way we make sure people are properly cared for. It is a beautiful service and should in essence represent our holy duty, our only duty, which is to love.
 |
'Rice' or 'Pitong Gatang' by Nestor Leynes. Is this what good administration looks like? |
13. Sometimes things just don't turn out like they should. Sometimes Churches, Christian organisations and Christians make mistakes. Everybody does. Sometimes events beyond our control land us in terrible circumstances. Sometimes Satan manifests with horrific consequences. But God doesn't make mistakes. God doesn't land is in terrible circumstances. God doesn't manifest with horrific consequences. So it isn't good to try and cover up mistakes, brush aside calamities or say something like 'God's ways are higher than ours'. It doesn't seem fair to vaguely gesture that there must always be some amazing purpose behind someone else's failings/ your own bad decision/ or life's tragedies. Sometimes things just aren't what they should be and it is healthy to grieve, (and forgive and be forgiven where appropriate), rather than blindly paint everything with a 'God's-sovereignty-brush' thinking that this is what faith requires or the Bible shows us (in my opinion).
14. We live in an increasingly interconnected world. We are part of one race, one world, one creation. I can no longer live in such a way that pretends those statements are not true or that my own behaviour has does not have direct consequences for others. And being in that kind of relationship brings a certain kind of responsibility with it. We get to be on the side of love and live in such a way that does not harm others.
 |
Picture by Mike Kiev |
15. So in summary, loving is what it is all about! Spend your time loving. The rest is chaff.
And if there was a postscript to this season of our lives, I'd have to say how proud I am of Laura. Of the way she has carried herself, the way she has grown, and the things that she willingly sacrificed; giving up a family home, carrying two babies in different foreign countries, and often taking a back seat in all aspects of work and ministry due to cultural sensitivities. I'd also have to say how proud I am of Penny, who in her short life, has already gone through more transitions than many of our peers, let alone hers, and yet is a ray of sunshine in our lives.